Friday, July 30, 2010

Striving for excellence.

I'll be 22 on September 1st. I work full time, I go to school full time, and I babysit at least 3 nights a week.

I have a brother in Tennessee, parents in Texas, my best friend in peru and my boyfriend lives 45 minutes away.

I have a roommate, co-workers, former co-workers, friends from high school, friends from college, friends from work, friends who I used to be in youth group with, students who I used to lead in youth group, leaders who used to lead me in youth group, families who I've invested in and have invested in me.

And only 24 hours in one day.

I want so badly to do well at everything I'm doing and give 110% in everything I do; but I'm running out of time and I'm struggling to find balance. And I continually hear how I never make time for others and am only thinking about myself; and I try so hard to be outwardly focused - but there's just not enough time in my day!

I want so badly to be an amazing teacher, friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister, etc. but can I be? Or are we supposed to only be great at one of them? There are weeks where I feel like I've figured out the balance and then there are weeks like this - where I feel like I'm running so fast only to be brisking the backside of achievement.

I just want to do well and I want my life to speak loudly to those around me with the statement of never settling for anything less than excellence - but at what point do I just be content with the chaos around me?!

I am SO thankful for my life and those who are in it. I enjoy everyday of my life, I have a great job, fabulous friends and a phenomenal boyfriend. There is no doubt in my mind, I know I am blessed.

I would, however, like to know the secret to the balance of it all. But for now, I'll keep living day by day in the chaotic excitement of my life and continue to remember that this is what it's like to truly be living life.


Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El) said...

Oh my gosh, you blogged!

Erin, honey, if anyone says you're only thinking of yourself, they are mistaken.

You have a huge heart, a warm smile, and you are infused with the Holy Spirit. I'm not sure there is such a thing as balance, at times things and people can be slighted. But if someone truly loves you, they'll wait a bit for time with you.

Kind of like me with this blog. I've been missing you for a while, and since it's my only contact with you, I waited in hopes you'd write something else.

And sometimes, some things and some people fall away. Sometimes it seems against our grain--so to speak, and sometimes it just makes sense to let go. The love is still there, but it's okay to grow apart. Everyone who has invested in you is carried with you for life.

Erin Finney said...

Thank you Ellen!

I blog more in my head than I do online - haha! I just never know what to post on here! But I promise I will be trying to do more soon!

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words! I never thought of it that way - that if someone loves me, they'll wait for time with me!