Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Dream Big.

When I was younger, I always dreamed of growing up and becoming a teacher; I had a classroom set up in my basement (complete with an overhead projector which I asked for one Christmas). But never did I actually think that this dream would be able to become reality.

When I started college, I started as an education major...but then I got scared. I was afraid I wasn't good enough, I wasn't smart enough, I wasn't equipped enough and that I would never become the great teacher that I dreamed of being. So I changed majors. I chalked it up to wanting to try new things - completely true but in my heart of hearts wasn't my ultimate passion. So I changed to hospitality administration. I loved this major, it was great, hospitality is truly my most enjoyable blessing which I have received; however, I wasn't passionate about working holidays, weekends, and ridiculous hours of the while I would LOVE to be in some sort of hotel business the reality is I wouldn't love it...but I wasn't ready to switch back.

I remember playing with Nicole at the church one day, we were running around the church and Katrina looked at me and said "are you SURE you're not supposed to be working with kids?" and I couldn't honestly answer with a "No, I'm not." because in my heart of hearts, the answer was "I know I am, I'm just too scared."

With that I was pushed to change my major yet again - but still not back to where I wanted. So I went into child development. I loved learning about the development and progress of children, there is something so cool about how a child develops to me. And then I started working at Chesterbrook and I realized okay this is it, this is where I am supposed to be...but a few months in I started thinking to myself how much I loved my job and how much I loved working with the kids, but it just wasn't settling right. The thought didn't sit well in my stomach, I knew this isn't what I was supposed to do forever.

So I began to pray. And I began to trust. And then, I shoveled a driveway at two in the morning. And I turned it into a game. And my friend looked at me and said "You are going to become one of the best elementary school teachers." And that is when I knew what I was supposed to do. And that is what began my process of following God's plan for my life full force.

So standing in my boots shaking (literally, it was freezing out there!!) I decided no matter how scared I was, how worried I was, how hesitant I wanted to be, I was going to allow God to do in my life what He says is best, because He has never failed me before.

And now, here I am blessed beyond belief. I am not yet an elementary school teacher, but I am on my way to becoming one. Still petrified of how it will all work out but knowing that God is in control and that He is good.

This week I began preparing for the school year in my preschool classroom, setting everything up and organizing things for the year and that is when I realized - I am where I am supposed to be and I am becoming who I am supposed to become; and for that I am thankful.

Because God is good.

when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big


Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El) said...

You have nothing to be afraid of, just much to be aware of. If I can do it, and do it pretty well, so can you--more so!

Natalie said...

I get all these dreams of things I'll do in the future, but then when the future comes and I actually have to follow through with them, it freaks me out! I totally get the fear of not being good enough.

Valerie said...

Can I just say.... I have known you, hmmmm, about 5 years? And I have ALWAYS thought you would be an excellent teacher. I was SUPER BLESSED to have you be Bethany's preschool teacher and to be both my kid's babysitter... Shoot, they STILL ask about you!!! I couldnt have asked for a better young lady to take care of my kids.

You will do awesome! Keep trusting God and stop trying to control it yourself! (Something Im just now learning as Im exploring career options.... lol)

Miss seeing you!